Chase Manhattan
Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we've got the lovely and talented actor/singer/model/entrepreneur Chase Manhattan bank on the show to tell us all about her new book called "The True Life Story of Chase Manhattan."
Bob the Host: My first guest tonight is on the cover of almost every magazine at newsstands. She's very popular and very rich, too. Please welcome Chase Manhattan Bank.
(applause)
Bob the Host: Welcome to the show, Chase. You look great.
Chase Manhattan: Why thank you, Bob. It's this new fraud detector that I have on me. With all this identity theft going on, I figured I needed to start protecting myself. It's new and it's better than botox. I've got 0% interest on APR and no fat. Plus it makes me look thinner.
Bob the Host: Someone trying to kidnap you?
Chase Manhattan: No, Bob, no one is trying to kidnap me, or at least, not that I know of. But I'm covered, just in case. I've got my own personal assistant from a chase fraud advisor just in case someone decides to use my name without my consent for any type of issue that might be out there.
Bob the Host: So this personal assistant, what else does he do for you? I hear that he sets you up on dates with other celebrities as well? Where is that little fellow? I figure I'd have a better chance talking to him rather than to you directly.
(laughter)
Chase Manhattan: Only if you can get passed my privacy guard, Bob. He knows my entire credit history, compiled from all three reporting agencies, or at least how I like to refer to them, the tabloids. They've got the hook up and unlimited access, too. You might want to try kissing up to him.
(laughter)
Bob the Host: So, there goes my chances. But do tell me more about your book, "The True Life Story of Chase Manhattan." It comes out in the stores today. Do you share any juicy secrets in your book with us?
Chase Manhattan: Well, I was sick of everyone talking about Chase this and Chase that, who I'm merging with and all those legal battles I'm supposedly fighting, which is all untrue. I decided to get the record straight in "The True Life Story of Chase Manhattan." If you want more information, you're gonna have to check my website.
Bob the Host: Thanks for visiting us, Chase Manhattan. Ladies and Gentlemen, the lovely Chase Manhattan Bank!
(cheers and applause)
All material copyright © 2008 Chase CardPick. All rights reserved.
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